What are You Believing for?

I gently caressed Rowan’s little face while he slept in my arms.  He was so young, yet he had already brought such incredible joy to our lives.  I caught a glimpse of Barry sleeping as he reclined his head back against the wall.  We were so tired.  We knew to expect weariness, but I don’t think either of us anticipated sheer exhaustion.  We discovered that doctor visits were great opportunities for naps and we both jumped at any chance to sleep…even if it was only for ten minutes.

We were both drifting off into dream land when the doctor opened the door.  I tried so hard to focus on the barrage of questions that followed.  As a first time mother I didn’t know what to expect.  But, I knew in my heart that something was wrong.  I held Rowan even closer to my chest as she spoke.  I couldn’t handle the thought of my son being in pain.  He was so little, so helpless…it took everything within me to refrain from crying.  We were handed a list of referrals and orders for more tests as we sat in silence.  Overwhelmed by thought of our little boy suffering, we quickly made our way to the hospital.

After weeks of tests and blood work, we took Rowan to see a pediatric cardiologist.  Through his exam and expertise we discovered that Rowan was born with a common birth defect known as ASD.  Of all the things in the world that could have been wrong, this was by far the best one to choose from.  It simply meant that he had a hole in his little heart.  The only cause for concern was its size.

Despite the reassuring comments of the cardiologist and pediatrician, I was overwhelmed.  Most infants with ASD recover on their own.  However the size of the hole in Rowan’s heart was abnormal.  There was no guarantee that it could heal completely.  We were given brochures and told to prepare our minds for the realization that he may need heart surgery by the age of two in order to prevent further damage down the road.

As Barry and I drove home that day we reflected on the miracles God had already performed to get us to that moment.  The fact that we even had a baby was a miracle in itself, much less all of the details that surrounded his young life.  The pediatric cardiologist we were referred to just so happened to be one of the best in the nation and he treated our family with such compassion.   As we sat in the car we lifted up a prayer for our precious son.  We asked our Heavenly Father to heal Rowan’s heart.  We specifically requested that He would close up the hole and make his heart complete in order to provide Rowan’s body with health and long life.  Each and every day we pray this over our little guy and every night we thank God for being mindful of our baby and we praise Him for being our healer.

In the weeks ahead we will be taking Rowan to the cardiologist for a follow-up visit.  This will let us know if he is on the road to recovery or it will give us an indication that surgery may be necessary.

I am believing for a complete healing in Rowan’s heart and I would be so thankful if you would pray and believe with me.  But, it would also mean so much to me if you would leave a comment and let me know what YOU are believing God for during this season of your life.  Together, let’s trust God for the impossible!  Let’s anticipate God’s provision for our lives as we pray and believe for each others needs.

Much Love,


16 thoughts on “What are You Believing for?

  1. Jana- I most certainly will be lifting you all up in prayer. Rowan is so precious and as a new mom it breaks my heart that you all have to go through this trial. “But trials produce perseverance, and perseverance, character, and character, hope. And because of God’s love poured out in us, hope does not disappoint,” very loose Romans 5:3-5. I pray that the love of God envelops you all in the days ahead in a way that surpasses understanding and that it will continue to strengthen and sustain you as you hope and believe in this miracle.
    Thank you for sharing this pain, for from it will come beauty and a deeper faith in our Father. I am truly grateful for your heart and the words you share and I thank God for allowing our paths to cross. You will no doubt be a source of continued inspiration and strength for me as I begin this journey. I hope I can offer the same, if in prayer alone.

    I am actually starting a new series of daily blogs and Thursdays happen to be Thankful Thursdays. I am going to feature you as the first example if that is alright. I hope that in sharing why I am thankful for finding your blog, others can join in prayer for Rowan.
    So thank you and may the Lord bless you and keep you and your family safe in His loving embrace.


    1. Heather, thank you so much! To think that you would be so kind as to highlight such an important need in my life is truly touching. I appreciate your prayers and I am very thankful that you have made it possible for others to pray for my little guy as well.

      Many Thanks and Much Love,

  2. Jana, I am working my way down your blog and just came across this post. I’m sorry that you are going through this trying time. It’s so beautiful to see your faith strengthened through this. Thank you for your transparency.

    I am praying for Rowan and your family.

    ❤ Indy

    1. Thank you so much Indy! I truly appreciate all of the prayers and support. I am praying for you too and trusting that God will meet the desires of your heart.

      Much Love,

  3. Hello! Thank you so much for stopping by my silly little blog!

    Please know that I will be joining these others in believing God for this healing.

    Father, I thank you that you are a good, loving Father and that you feel with us. I thank you that right now you are hearing the cries of these that love this baby and you feel compassion for their hurting hearts. I just ask that you would please place your Healing Hand on this little one’s body and on the hearts of those who are hurting. We love you Jesus and we know that we can believe because You have proven Yourself over and over. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    Right now I am believing God will bring emotional and spiritual healing in my Mama’s life. I appreciate your prayers so much!

    1. Emily, thank you so much for praying and believing with us. I loved your blog…it was so fun to read!

      Father, I am believing for a complete spiritual and emotional healing in the life of Emily’s mother. I ask that you would surround her mother with women who can encourage her and show her your love. Remove any hindrances or things that could distract her from embracing the life you have for her. A life full of joy and complete faith in your will. Be with Emily during this time. Give her the strength and endurance needed as she believes for this miracle in her mother’s life.

      With love and thanks ~ Amen ~

  4. So sorry about your little one Jana, it’s hearbreaking as a mum to hear news like this, I too have had my fair share of scary moments with my children but praise God they are healed, alive and well 🙂 I am praying for Rowan to be completely healed too and not need surgery at all. If it’s OK I am going to do a post on my Blog too about it so you can get all the prayer support you can.

    Melody, my prayers are with you too.

    As for me I am believing God for breakthough and growth in our Church. We are ministering in a city that is not interested in God and Church at all – it is hard ground we are working but we are believing that what is now a city of darkness will become a city of light like it used to be.

    1. Dear Heavenly Father,

      I ask for your continued provision and guidance as the De Souza’s minister to hardened hearts in their city. May their family continue to be an example of life and love and may their church become a beacon of hope to those that need you. I thank you that you have planted them there for such a time as this and I ask that you would bless their efforts as they reach out to the community. And may the De Souza’s find refreshment in your prescence as they minister and give of themselves for your kingdom.

      ~ With love and thanks ~ Amen.

  5. Jana- I am believing this with you and will definitely continue to pray for precious little Rowan. We love you guys!

  6. Oh Lord,
    I join with my new friend, Jana, and just ask that you continue your work inside Rowan’s little body. We ask, with all the belief we can muster and then some, that you heal the hole in his heart…that is, if it’s still there. You are good and worthy of our praise.Thank you that you have created Rowan intricately and you know him far better than we do. In fact, you love him even more than his Mom and Dad do. And why that makes me uncomfortable to say, I don’t know because it’s so true. You really do love our children more than we could ever love them. You are our Abba Father who brought them purposefully into existence. And we are trusting you with Rowan’s heart – the physical and the spiritual. We wait in expectation, Lord. Amen.

    As for me: I am believing God to turn a family member’s heart from a lifestyle of homosexuality. I would covet your prayers for him too.

    1. Melody, thank you for praying with us…you are such an encouragement. I appreciate you and your incredible love for the Lord…it’s beautiful!

      Lord, thank you that you know our every need and you are faithful to meet them. I ask that you would be with Melody during this time of seeking you and believing for a miracle in her family. I ask that as she continues to show your love, that you would draw this famiy member to you. We ask and belive that you would bring healing and hope and move in their life in a way that only you can.

      With love and thanks! ~Amen~

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