Have you ever had to take inventory of your life? Ugh, it’s such a pain in the butt. I know none of us are perfect, and it certainly makes it difficult when we begin the process of sifting through old habits, hurts, mentalities and actions. It seems like all the bad stuff just suddenly emerges and we can be left with guilt or shame on so many levels.
I guess one of the biggest regrets I have is realizing how much of my life was spent serving a man, a church and group of pastors instead of serving God and fulfilling His purpose for my life. I heard so many phrases that led me to believe that what I was doing was correct and Biblical. However, it wasn’t. Looking back I can see it very clearly, but while I was in the midst of that season…man I was so blinded. Close friends on the outside would say things and I would know in my heart they were correct, but I didn’t know what to do with the truth. I wanted to be free, to feel like I could be myself. I was tired of second guessing every little action or spoken word. I walked on egg shells for years and I convinced myself that tip toeing through life was correct and wonderful.
Over the past couple of years God has done a work in my heart. I know I keep saying this on my blog and I surely don’t want to sound like a broken record, but living in freedom is AMAZING! Following God’s voice and direction is WONDERFUL! I long for others, especially ministers to feel the same way. Although I feel healed from that difficult time, my mind is still being renewed. It takes a while to see those old mentalities die and fade away. It takes time to break old habits and it takes time to see the truth for what it is.
Taking inventory is a pain, but if the fruit is a renewed and healed mind…then I will endure and keep trucking along. Facing old regrets is never fun, but watching them fade into the distance as God graciously covers and forgives is life changing. Realizing that God has redeemed me because He loves me…there are no words to describe what it feels like when God reaches down and restores your soul, your worth and your love for life.
Whatever your situation may be; whether it’s dwindling faith, fear of the future, loss of confidence, or the realization that you have drifted far from the truth…God remains the same. He can and will restore and renew everything that has been lost or stolen.