Renewing My Mind

Have you ever had to take inventory of your life? Ugh, it’s such a pain in the butt. I know none of us are perfect, and it certainly makes it difficult when we begin the process of sifting through old habits, hurts, mentalities and actions. It seems like all the bad stuff just suddenly emerges and we can be left with guilt or shame on so many levels.

I guess one of the biggest regrets I have is realizing how much of my life was spent serving a man, a church and group of pastors instead of serving God and fulfilling His purpose for my life. I heard so many phrases that led me to believe that what I was doing was correct and Biblical. However, it wasn’t. Looking back I can see it very clearly, but while I was in the midst of that season…man I was so blinded. Close friends on the outside would say things and I would know in my heart they were correct, but I didn’t know what to do with the truth. I wanted to be free, to feel like I could be myself. I was tired of second guessing every little action or spoken word. I walked on egg shells for years and I convinced myself that tip toeing through life was correct and wonderful.

Over the past couple of years God has done a work in my heart. I know I keep saying this on my blog and I surely don’t want to sound like a broken record, but living in freedom is AMAZING! Following God’s voice and direction is WONDERFUL! I long for others, especially ministers to feel the same way. Although I feel healed from that difficult time, my mind is still being renewed. It takes a while to see those old mentalities die and fade away. It takes time to break old habits and it takes time to see the truth for what it is.

Taking inventory is a pain, but if the fruit is a renewed and healed mind…then I will endure and keep trucking along. Facing old regrets is never fun, but watching them fade into the distance as God graciously covers and forgives is life changing. Realizing that God has redeemed me because He loves me…there are no words to describe what it feels like when God reaches down and restores your soul, your worth and your love for life.

Whatever your situation may be; whether it’s dwindling faith, fear of the future, loss of confidence, or the realization that you have drifted far from the truth…God remains the same. He can and will restore and renew everything that has been lost or stolen.

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6 thoughts on “Renewing My Mind

  1. Everyone, thank you for taking the time to comment on this blog. It is near and dear to my heart and your stories, encouragement and kind words were so refreshing!

    Thank you!!

  2. It is a pain…but Jana with you it is amazing that you keep sharing it over and over. It is BEAUTIFUL to see what God has done in your life and I want you to KEEP sharing it! Too many people are caught in the legalism and experience what you did. But NOW you are living the true gospel. If the world saw more of that they would RUN to Jesus.

  3. There is NOTHING like the FREEDOM of Christ! It’s amazing isn’t it?? God has done so much to teach me about that freedom. I am also having to learn that freedom in Christ is a whole new level of trust that God is big enough to work in people and change them without a bazillion rules and obligations. Oh, how my heart longs for others to know the joy and peace that comes with that freedom! Thank you so much for sharing!

  4. Awww, sweet freedom in Christ. We experienced this early in our marriage as we started attending a new church. The pastor preached through Galations and we learned about grace for the first time. His two terms were “Tank top flesh” and “Suitcoat flesh”. You can be all dressed the part and say the right things but still be far from God…in the same place as the tattoo clad and pierced up dudes walking the streets. We had grown up in a very legalistic environment and had just graduated from a pretty uptight college as well. So the timing of this series was amazing for us. It opened our eyes and gave us a huge broad hope that we never really had before. We were believers but we were so bound by externals and what other people thought. I’ll never forget feeling so guilty one Sunday morning because we decided to sleep in and not go to church. We went to church that night and on our way out I, along with everyone else in the church, shook the pastor’s hand and aplogized for not being there Sunday morning and told him how bad I felt. I’ll never forget how I felt when he looked at me in the eyes and said, “Melody, you don’t have to explain. We’re just glad ya’ll could come tonight.” It almost felt like saying “you’re the pastor….you’re not supposed to say that because it might make me sleep in on more Sundays if you’re okay with this!” But you know what? It made me want to run back the next Sunday morning. Amazing at how the understanding of grace turns our hearts.
    Okay, So this was way too long of a comment. Sorry.

  5. Thank You Jana for being a living example that He does bind up wounds, and give beauty for ashes. I am so excouraged by your posts that healing does come, in time. So thankful that you are in my life!! xoxo

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