The Gift of Silence

I feel a little out of place as I journal this post.  I can’t believe it has been almost two months since I have written.  In that time my fingers have become unfamiliar with my keyboard and my mind has been a bit disconnected from the blogging realm.  I don’t quite know where to begin this entry.  So much has happened  that has nothing to do with me…yet, in its own way still makes an undeniable impact on my view of ministry and ministers in general.

Let me explain…

After dinner a few weeks ago Barry and I sat down to talk through some pretty hefty rumors circulating about a pastor we worked with in Louisiana.  As we spoke, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of the accusations that were being thrown his way.  It seemed so out of character for our friend and my heart broke as I found myself believing the worst about him.  Not really knowing what to think, I decided to seek out all sides of the story…I had to search for truth.

Days and then weeks went by as I felt the pressure to post my findings.  I felt this need to dispute certain accusations and fight against lofty rumors.  But, as I struggled to place shape around my discoveries and credit to my conversations, I realized the search for the truth wasn’t for anyone else.  It was for me…for my own good.  I was the one who needed to know.  I needed to believe in my heart  that men of God can truly stay men of God…

I needed to believe that it was possible.

I have no knowledge of the details surrounding what happened and I never will.  I only know that some pastors we have known and loved for years have moved on from a damaging place.  If by their own fault or whether they were given the classic resign or be resigned pep talk…I have no clue, but what I do know is that they are out of there.  And with all of my heart I feel it’s a good thing.

With all of that said, I didn’t want my blog to become a hub for gossip or rumors.  I have crossed that line before and it left me feeling uneasy and full of regret.

That night as Barry and I spoke, we came to our own personal conclusion and I made the decision to shut down my blog for a while.  It wasn’t meant to add to the rumors or drama…but to give a very subtle gift.

The gift of silence.

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