How Do I get There from Here?

2006 – Broussard, LA

“Don’t spit in the well you will eventually drink from”…these words pierced my heart.  That’s not at all what we were trying to do.  Barry and I were simply trying to share our heart, our dreams and our hopes for the future.  We knew that our pastors appreciated honesty and we did not want to lead them on.  As much as we appreciated them sending us to school to equip us for campus ministry, that wasn’t something that we felt called to do for the rest of our lives.  And as thankful as we were for the opportunity to work with Master’s Commission…the dreams in our heart exceeded that avenue of ministry.

We felt as though we were slowly sinking into a comfortable, yet constricting rut.   Our hearts ached for generations, worship and nations  but it felt as though our pastor’s vision for ministry did not exceed the boarders of Louisiana.  Barry and I wanted to discuss the fact that we did not see ourselves in Louisiana forever.  We knew that would not be our final stop…the thought of living and ministering there into our old age  made us both feel uneasy.   We felt it was only fair to make our concerns known to those who were investing into our future.  So, we requested a meeting with the associate pastor and his wife.  Needless to say…the meeting was a train wreck.

****

I looked across at their faces, they were focused and trying to be understanding.  In my mind I hoped for the light bulb to come on, I dreamed that they would rejoice with us and agree that we needed to begin focusing more on what we felt called to do with our lives. Yet, as Barry and I shared our hearts the room felt heavy.  As the atmosphere shifted I silently prayed that they would hear exactly what we were saying and take each of our concerns into consideration.  My heart sank as soon as they opened their mouths in response.  It felt as though the walls were caving in…they completely misinterpreted our motives and the meeting went from uncomfortable to hopeless.  It was evident that things were just beginning to get even more difficult for Barry and I…in ministry, marriage and life in general.

One thought on “How Do I get There from Here?

  1. Jana,

    I love you both so much! It pains my heart that you were treated so abusively and that no one there saw it as wrong! Thank you Jesus, for getting you out of there alive – seriously! I know you are going to minister to so many people with your brave story. Keep it up!

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