Perfectly Ironic

2006  – Broussard, LA (Christmas vacation in Denver, CO)

We realized as we spoke with friends over lunch that so much of what we believed and based our foundation of faith upon was not truly biblical.  We had been deceived, so slowly and with incredible skill.   We arrived at a place where we no longer knew how to trust in God’s direction or how to make a decision without checking with our leaders first.  It was sickening to face the facts.  Our hearts were heavy and we fought back humiliation as the truth was revealed.  But it took seeing things at face value in order for hope and freedom to awaken within us.

I sat in disbelief as we drove away from the restaurant.  I spent years following a set of rules, a group of people… a format for ministry and living.  Yet, there I was… completely dismayed by the truth that was piercing my heart.  Snow covered the windshield as we traveled, the storm was getting worse and we were in danger of being stranded.  We needed to get back quickly, but as we drove past the ice-covered scenery we could not help but feel at peace.  The horizon ahead was crisp and bright.  It was just a matter of making it through the bad weather.  The symbolism was ironic.  We were on the right path and headed in the right direction…the storm would not overtake us.

After sitting in silence for what seemed like hours Barry and I agreed to ask the Lord for something very specific…we asked Him to number our days on staff.  As we lifted up a sincere prayer for God’s intervention we felt in our hearts that the end of our entrapment was drawing near.  My heart felt free but I was still slightly cautious.  I figured there was no way they would let us resign without a fight.  I braced myself for the battle ahead…I knew it would not be pretty.

One thought on “Perfectly Ironic

  1. Jana thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions as I follow each post but also I have been able to learn a lot which will help me in my own leadership. I know many others will find your writings very helpful too. So take heart, your hard times weren’t for nothing. All these things will work together for good producing more fruit than you ever dreamed possible 🙂

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