2006 – Broussard, LA
The meeting ended on a low note. I tried to fight back the tears, but the more I struggled, the more they flowed. I felt stupid and emotional as they stared back at me with blank faces. Barry and I had just bore our souls and all we received in return were rehearsed quotes and statements of intent. We learned that they saw us as part of the family and they were grooming us for greater things. They told us our dreams would come true…in the house. That was their favorite saying…”Your dreams will come true in the house” Meaning, if you serve the vision here, then God will eventually bless your faithfulness by allowing your dreams to come true. But, it implied that God’s will for our lives could not come true apart from serving them, their goals and expectations. We were told in that meeting that they felt Barry was not called to lead worship ever again. They strongly felt that was not his gifting and they urged him to not spend any more time pursuing that form of ministry. Those words stung and crippled a very active part of Barry’s calling. A piece of his heart was purposefully crushed that day and it took years to recover.
We sat in complete dismay as they prayed over us and then quickly dismissed themselves from our home. As soon as the door shut behind them I simply broke down. Sobbing so hard that I was blinded by the stream of endless tears. Barry tried to comfort me…he knew I was crushed. But even more than the sadness welling up in my soul…I felt trapped and manipulated. I couldn’t understand how the meeting took such a dramatic turn, but somewhere it went from us sharing our dreams to feeling as though we had not heard God’s calling correctly. In a matter of moments we went from confident to completely insecure. Our trust in God’s voice was indirectly questioned and we were made to feel silly for even believing that God would call us to more than what they felt appropriate for our lives. At the time we didn’t see it, but during that meeting we agreed to release our future into their hands…and without realizing it…we replaced God’s voice and perfect will for a man’s counterfeit version.