“I got my bonus…I got my bonus.” I sang the words to Barry through the phone. He laughed and then cheered with me. Not only was my bonus check a pleasant reward, it also signaled the end of overtime, dealing with cranky clients and the beautiful fact that tax season was officially finished!! All I wanted to do was curl up in my sweats and sleep…for hours and possibly days. I tucked my check into my purse and drove home. I wasn’t ready to cash it yet. Visions of a new sofa or a flat screen TV danced in my head. There was so much that I wanted to do with the money…but want and obedience don’t always get along, and my mind was caught in the crossfire.
I arrived home to flowers and a kind note from Barry. I relished in the fact that we were more in love than ever. Our once strained relationship was gaining strength with each passing day and we were happy, genuinely happy. I stood at the kitchen counter and pulled out the envelope containing my hard-earned bonus. I gently placed the check down and picked up the folded letter and self-addressed envelope that I had purposefully set out earlier in the week. I knew what I was supposed to do with the money, but I wanted to make sure that I could completely resign myself to giving it away. Leaning over the counter, I kicked off my high heels and placed my head in my hands. I just needed to read the letter one more time.
“Dear…will you consider partnering with us…a one time gift…monthly support…for your convenience…”
But, what struck my heart was the hand scripted note at the bottom. The exact words escape me now, but their prayer for our future rang a bell of freedom in my soul. They prayed for God’s direction in ministry and for His blessing on our family.
They prayed that God would bless us with a baby.
The most intimate of prayer requests that we could have shared at that time were already placed on their hearts. Although we were traveling a different path than the precious minister we had enjoyed dinner with only months before, our hearts were stirred at his request for support. He had spoken so directly and clearly into our lives that brisk February evening. But, his handwritten prayer stirred our faith to new levels.
The battle raging over my decision subsided. It was clear that God was asking me to give something in faith…believing for His provision for our future. He was asking me to trust again. Even though the initial thought made me uncomfortable, when I signed the check and placed it in their envelope…I felt at home.
Walking to the mailbox I asked God a very direct question…
“What in the world are you doing?”