Two Futures

The 4th of July came around and gave us a much-needed vacation.  Except…it wasn’t a vacation.  Overwhelmed by the fact that we were still living out of our guest bedroom, Barry and I committed to completing the work needed on our master bedroom and bathroom.  New fixtures, re-wiring the electrical, scraping the popcorn ceiling, 4 coats of paint and installing the laminate flooring left us (ok, ok Barry) exhausted.  We were tired and on edge.  It was nearly 3 months from the time we agreed to pray about returning to the ministry and week after week we were faced with another challenge.  The loss of a loved one and the aggravation of being displaced from our own room left us feeling unsettled and restless.  We both longed to for our season in Louisiana to draw to a close.

But how and when?

We kept asking God for clarity, but He was eerily silent.  In His wake He left us with peace, but we still had no answers to the questions lingering in our minds. It was tough being trapped between two futures.  One was secure and fun, while the other was mysterious and exciting.  Life outside of church was what we made of it.  If we wanted to travel…we did.  If we needed to sleep in on a Sunday…we did.  If I wanted to wear jeans to church (gasp) I did. 🙂  It was comfortable and easy. And it was boring.  Our hearts were drawing closer and closer back to the call of God.  Back to what we knew and loved the most.   It was as if the dream stirring in our hearts was making the nest of our comfort less and less desirable.  I would lay awake at night and pray for the youth at the church in California.  I didn’t even know them…but I loved them already.  I would dream about moving and wonder what life would be like there.  I hoped that the people at the church would like me…except me for who I was and enjoy being around my dry humor and loud laugh.   I couldn’t shake the thought that God had something there for me.  The next part of my healing.  I was ready to move on…but nothing was happening.   My faith was waning as the days and weeks clicked by.  I was ready to throw in the towel when the pieces starting to fall into place. He was orchestrating an elaborate plan in the silence. One by one.  Day by day.  The plan of God was unfolding before our eyes.

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